I was waiting for my cab to pick me
up. Signs of a hard-saving software engineer looks showed up on me. I was
carrying both the laptop bag as well as the lunch bag. ‘Seattle, you can show
some mercy with warming up a little. You are too cold for an Indian’ I
murmured.
The cab arrived. It wasn’t a
5-seater car but a seat for 15 van. These are the signs that your employer
takes to minimize expenditure. It must also be taken as warnings of how my job
is at stake. Every moment, I know someone having the same skills as mine or
even better is born into this market. Just that they haven’t met my employer
yet.
The journey to the office was a
quiet 30 minute travel. The van would be mostly filled, with my co-employees
wired to their gadgets. After all music is the first medicine for all diseases
of my age.
My playlist mostly contained Indian
songs that were repeated over and over again. Today I didn’t have the interest
to listen to them. I am not sure why. I just wanted to enjoy the travel. I have
been travelling in this road for nearly 18 months and I knew every company on
my way. But I didn’t know anything other than them. There were hundreds of
other things that I should have paid attention to, but didn’t. The green,
though little, was inviting.
My skin was unlucky to feel the
cold breeze but eyes weren’t. ‘Today’, I thought, ‘will enjoy this non-living
beauties of God’s creation for a change’. The trees around just reminded me of
my home. Being an Indian, I wasn’t fascinated with the nature here. It was no-where
near to what I have back home. Or had. Industrialization was a direct term for
progress. Thereby you win some you lose some. I won my job. One job. But what I
lost was plenty.
Not everyone who are away from home
are happy. Even though you earn a handful. I took up this job because I wanted
it. Not because I wanted it but because I wanted my father and mother to rest.
Years I have seen them in pain. They deserved better. It is my responsibility
to give them a better life. Years together, they have sacrificed their food,
time, sleep, energy for me. And all I could repay is just plain money. I
transfer it to their account. I don’t know what they do with that. They are
happy with it. But I am not able to see their happiness. Or that’s what I
believe. I believe they are happy with the money I send. What is happiness
without seeing your children? They fake it. I know it. I believe it. I fake it.
They think that I am here enjoying the life out of my own country. It takes a
heaven to match the joy of our native. For it is the heaven. My happiness – I
fake it. They know it. They believe it. They fake it.
With all these thoughts spinning, I
didn’t realize that I had lowered the window. I could feel the cold breeze. I
looked around in the van. None objected. I don’t regret the things I did but
the things I didn’t. This job is lucrative. I needed one like this for my
situation demanded. I don’t blame my occupation. I chose it. But little did I
knew that sacrifices are aplenty here. On the balance, it is much less than
that of my parents’ though. But missing your soul buddies, giving lame excuses
for marriages, once in a year home visit takes a toll on the feeble mind.
In the end, who is the winner here?
I wanted to see my parents happy. Money was the only spot of bother. Now I have
it. But are my parents happy? Why life doesn’t work this way – both money and
happiness together? I wish I could get the same job in my hometown. We may be
together but I am not going to earn the same, thereby the happiness quotient
takes a hit. People who say money does not determine happiness, I wish they
live a life of an Indian middle class guy. Then they may understand what
reality is. I don’t need a plenty. All I
need is to satisfy our basic needs plus a little more for charity. That would
do. I wonder why good things never happen to good people. I opted out of social
networking because I could not see the worthless enjoying and me suffering
here.
My thirty minute travel is nearing
its end. The routine life has no breaks. I made it a point that no more
earphone-less travel. Thoughts are diabolic. The van came to a halt. I didn’t
realize that it was the end of the journey. The face could no more feel the
breeze.
Just then my friend shouted ‘Get up
man and remove the dust from your eyes. The power is out.’
