The Girl In The Yellow Saree

­­­­

“Do you believe in Ghosts?” my Mom asked me. It was ‘that’ time of the year where the mother still fears that something may happen to her child gearing up for his birthday. She is always precautious right from the day I fell ill 6 days before my first birthday and she is following this gesture for the 19th consecutive year now.

I, the first Engineer in the family, ridiculed all her opinions and went out with Bruno on a night where the sound of thunder almost caught up with its bright partner.

A few meters walk onto the road, I closed my eyes to feel the breeze. It wasn’t new to me for I belong to a place where climate is the first reason people choose this place to dwell. “How nice it is to have a walk at this time” was the thought on me.

I started to sink into my own world. My mom, a typical South-Indian who loves to do anything and everything for her only son.  An excellent cook, but you can never guess that by seeing me. She has a voice too good that my dad loves only to listen. Ah..Daddy.. He is of the opinion that his son is as good as Albert Einstein. I appreciate that dad and to add he is not wrong.

We three make an excellent family for the rule my dad has enforced. You can sleep with sorrow as company but you are not waking up with it. I loved this idea of the young man. Mark my words. It works wonders.

“Ah… how happy we three are”!!! Bruno barked to remind that he is also there. Yes!! We were three before Bruno arrived. Thank me for his entry into the family. Three of my five working school days had “curd rice” for lunch. As good as any boy, I hated it and would return home with a heavy lunch bag. When my mom ran out of patience, I had to run for ideas. On a day, a few yards away from my home, I was thinking of a way to escape the “Honors” from mom, a black, nowhere near to cute dog showed up. I was happy to donate and to my surprise, it ate. Ah..happy boy was me. Went home swinging my lunch bag. My mom was surprised and asked me “Which dog ate it?” I read the pun mom. I gave her a sheepish smile and left the scene. Now this became a habit. Three days, I would feed the little dog and remaining 4 days I would never see him. One day…..

The usual Feed the Dog day and I was home. My mom shouted from the kitchen “Where the hell is the lid!!” at 7th scale. Shit!! I knew where I lost it. Yes..your guess is right. I was searching for answers and good gracious the phone gave me the break I wanted. No woman is going to hang up less than 10 minutes unless it’s her husband or a wrong number. I ran out, opened the brown gate to see the black dog with the white lid. That was an awesome feel. Took it out from his mouth, gave a pat and turned back to find my beautiful mom. Her red eyes demanded an explanation. What..You expect me to tell that the dog carried it for me from the school 7.5kms away. I confessed. “So this is the dog that ate the rice eh?” I gave her a reaction that made her lose interest in questioning me again. That’s how he became the family member and he was named after…never mind.

Bruno had cleared his bladders on the cold night. I was seeing him thinking how he has grown up. He acknowledged with the wag. The phone beeped to signal an incoming message. I thought I will ignore it, for I was “Single” and no one other than my service provider will make use of my phone beep. In the end, took the phone to check out what latest caller tune was trending. With Bruno leading the way, I forced myself behind him with the “Texter’s neck”.

Just then a loud horn from behind straightened me up. I lifted my head and there, in the reflection of the headlight from the car behind, I saw a girl. What a beautiful face she had!! Her beautiful face shone up like a full moon on a starless sky. Her kheer face had kismis as eyes and cashew as nose. Woow!! She smiled on seeing the car behind me. It looked as though she smiled at me.  Wow I loved that curve on her face that straightened me up. Her eyes were cute like an infant. Her face was so magnetic that I never cared to notice her other assets. Wish I had violin people around me to sum the mood.

Was she my desire? I thought. The car crossed me justifying its name and stopped beside her. A yellow board metallic blue DZire. She was happy to get into it but I wasn’t, to see her go. I became a poet I thought. “Desire in DZire” I quoted. Wow… Sounds good, isn’t it?

The car was off in a flash. I was made sure that I wasn’t dreaming coz Bruno was at the top of his voice. Man.. I saw a girl and I wanted to see her again. I know these are general feelings of all boys but I am not of that category. I see and forget. But she stood there like a princess and I longed to meet her again and again and again.

Bed time I wished if my dream also had my desire on it. But of no avail. A usual dreamless night. Its time I forget my desire may be. The morning was the usual flying to catch the college bus and the usual class. Everything was normal that day until our HOD entered the class. “What the hell is this 45yr old ‘youth’ doing in our class?” I thought as he began to speak.

“As you already know, our department has a large number of students”. Yeah. We were split into 2 sections and I hardly know couple of boys from the other section as their class was my God miles apart. “The semester is nearing”, he continued. “And so inorder to produce better results we have planned a shuffle between the two sections. The students who need additional attention will be put together so that the staff may handle the class much more effectively.” Wow…what an idea from the bald headed asshole. Their main motive was to split the gangs that were formed in the class and they come up with some shit reasons to match their move.

Whats the point of doing it when the classes are almost over? I thought. But I never dared to open my mouth for that may result in me hearing his SPB voice a little more than I anticipated. All that is going to happen is that I may miss some close buds and get new competitors from the other one. There. He took the list he had prepared and started to read the names who are going away from our class. We almost got our guesses right in that list. So it was the farewell time for them and we bid them adieu and geared up to welcome the new faces. Yes. They were new faces. Atleast to me.

The first one to enter was a girl. She caught the attention of everybody for she had something unique. And that bowled me over. She was dressed in the traditional South Indian attire – Saree. Woooowww!!! Finding a girl in the saree is itself a miracle and she nailed it. Such alluring, such ravishing, such appealing. I was matching her footsteps with adjectives one by one. Red had to give way to yellow in my favorites list. Such imposing was her robe, that robbed everything out of me. She settled herself couple of rows after mine.

My friends snapped me back to reality to see the next girl. The third who entered was also a girl. (The second one came along with The Girl in the Yellow Saree and I never paid attention) Wow she had a face that’s too good to just watch. Just then I thought. Oh my! The saree stole my thoughts and I didn’t respect her face. I peeped a little to reach her face. The Poet was reborn. “Desire isn’t destroyed.”

I couldn’t believe what my eyes saw. The same glow this time in bright daylight. Man…she is an angel man. How I longed to befriend her. I wanted to talk to her, but neither had the guts nor the topic to talk. Yes… I can ask the occasion of the saree, but she already established the fact that it was her birthday. Isn’t that a perfect way to start a conversation? I went upto her, lent my hand and said “happy birthday dear” in such a way that only I could hear the dear. Yes I shook hands with her and I was the 21st person to do so after she had entered the class.

My thoughts were seriously on one thing. I want to talk to her. I seriously had no courage but wanted to develop some. I created situations where I can talk, planned to say Best of luck for class tests (Yes..I am an engineering college student) but to no avail. I was seeing her in such a way that none of my friends could even guess it. Imagine how tactical I was to see her. In 3 months time, I couldn’t carve out one worthy instance to talk to her. I waited for the miracle to happen. Did it? It did.

My time in the morning restrooms were spent thinking on a way to talk to her. People say that it’s the best place to think. But you see the place never added any spice to my idea. Nothing turned up only. Every other day would pass praying for a divine intervention. Hope never dies. It was a normal day where the cool headsetted guy engrossed in his cellphone was waiting for the college bus. “Has the bus left?” chirped a girl nearby. Since I am the only one to board at my point, I was surprised to hear that. Looked up to become a poet once again. “Desire decided.”

“What brought you here?” I enquired. Her answer was the moment of my life. Their family owns a house here which was rented and now its occupied by the owners themselves. My joy was unbounded. I wanted to jump, scream, dance, somersault but soon realized I was in the road. “So you have applied for the bus pass from here?” Her affirmative answer was the proof what the Almighty is capable of. In the end, it happened that we will have to board and unboard the same bus at the same point at the same time. I couldn’t have asked for more. That’s what you call a “Good Friday”.

Come Monday, you would expect me to run to the bus stand and wait for bus, didn’t you? Yes. You guessed it right. I was there in the bus point, for the first time in one and half years fifteen minutes before the scheduled arrival of the bus. I was telling to myself, don’t get excited, act normal, but no, I couldn’t. I was sweating profusely and the February sun played a little part in it. I knew which direction the bus would come, but I was facing the direction where I expecting my “destiny”. There it came. Mmm… “It” came. The bus. But no her. Monday, I hate you.

The journey to my college on that day felt as if it took decades. First day you expect a lot and in the end, it happens to be a disaster. She had a day off. And me… I had a day switched off. Took a same long journey home to prepare myself for the next day. Hopefully Tuesday should go well I said after waking up. Got myself to the wardrobe to search for the second best attire from the wardrobe. Wondering why not the best one? Had it on yesterday itself.

Finally found the well-pressed pair and got myself ready. That’s when the girl who remembers each and everything in the world and reminds us when we need came into the scene. “My dear son”, she said. “Today is Tuesday”. My blank expression made her to repeat the statement with stress, “TUESDAY”. If that wouldn’t have striked a chord in me, my mom would have had a strike on me. Yes. Its Tuesday. Famous for its infamous “Lab”. Engineer guy hates the lab mainly because of its so called dull looking uniform. I had to wear that light blue shirt to enter into the AC room. And instead facing the enquiries that will happen if I don’t wear, I would better wear the same.

The dress disaster almost ruined my day as I slowly made my way to the bus point. I wasn’t so perplexed. I made it ten minutes prior to the arrival of the bus and nine minutes earlier than the previous week. How I wished not to see her today. Again, in the race between my girl(Yeah) and the bus, Tuesday also saw the bus winning. I got into the bus reluctantly though expecting she would make it in some case. No. Sat into my usual window seat on the right to enjoy the breeze. The bus moved few metres when my thoughts were disturbed by a loud horn. I peeped out the window to see her in a bike drove by a fit masculine guy supposedly her dad. Who cares the male. I saw her, jumped out of my seat, danced my way to the driver to stop him. After a few words, for which I never paid attention to, he stopped. I saw her right hand, ringed where it should be, catch hold of the bar and step her right leg to get in. The driver had a good advice in his low(!) voice to me. To get back to my seat instead of standing in the way. I was back in my seat to see the dark pink robed angel making herself comfortable four rows in front of me.

As the journey progressed, she had some of her friends in the bus and had lot to talk. I had nothing to do rather than listen to ARR melodies and seeing her. The entire bus journey I never lost her out of my sight. Tuesday is not that bad I thought.

I am a guy who is obsessed with computers and I don’t spend my time in the lab seeing nothing else other than my system. I was like that even after her entry into our class. But today, I longed to see her. I know where she sits but never sighted her. If it is someone I talk in the lab, it would be either Ash(Ashwin) to have a technical discussion or with my staff for the same. She sits way behind me in the lab and I cursed that for the first time today. I hate you labs I hate you, I declared.

Evening with the same excitement as morning, I reached my bus. Oooof. Tiring day may be. She slept. And even I wanted her to sleep. Sleep sooooo well that I would wake her up while getting down. But that was not gonna happen. She woke up at the right time. Our destination came and she got down closely followed by me. Her dad was there to take her home. I wondered whether he doesn’t go to office at all. She turned towards me and said “Bye”. I replied with all of my 28 teeth visible (I had 4 removed when I had to clip my teeth). “Baaayeeee”. “Who is this?” the male barked. She introduced me to her dad. “Oh, so you both belong to the same class. That’s nice isn’t it. My dear why don’t you get his number so that it would help us for the bus?” He said.

Oh my Dad..oh.. Dad in law… I love you…. You are the best in the world….. said me to myself.

“I am always happy to help”, I said while giving her my number. I was intelligent enough not to get her number in front of her father. I know that was a master stroke. The walk back home was awesome. The nature seemed so kind to me. There was a light drizzle which is famous in my place. ARR was at his best. Yes. “I am in Love”, I concluded. She wasn’t that beautiful for my lust to take over. I wanted a life with her outside the bedroom. I never knew anything of her behavior, character, lineage, horoscope et al. All these happens in arranged marriages. Mine is a magic called Love. I have a task cut-out ahead of me.

The first thing I did after reaching home is that I changed my “Who the f*** is that” ringtone, which I had for the calls I receive from numbers apart from my contacts list. I desperately wanted a call from her. Was it a mistake I did by not getting her number?A miss call from her would have done it. All thoughts started to ponder me as I sat for evening snack of hot pakoda and mom special tea. In the night, I thanked God for a wonderful Tuesday and hoping for an even better Wednesday I went to bed. Suddenly a message. I opened my eyes. What if it is her? Did she wish me good night? Oh.. How this night is going to be good without you my dear?  Tachycardiac, I opened the message. “Good night” it read. The number was well-known bloody friend of mine, who I believe is still single and is broadcasting good night and good morning messages daily to numerous people. Fuck off I swore as I hit the bed.

It became a routine for me to reach my bus point earlier than usual. Wednesday I was at the point in the costume that I decided the previous day with my headsets on. I had added the Raja sir touch also to my playlists. He is a king in these situations. There she was.. finally earlier than usual. I was excited as I have the right opportunity to make a talk. The gentleman (He looks good ok!) bid her adieu. Good guy he didn’t wait for the bus to arrive. He waved a hi at me and I responded with respect. I was nervous. Though I had the experience of talking in front of a crowd, talking before a crush is a sweating moment.

Should I start a conversation? Do I have the right topic for a starter? “Has the bus left?” she questioned. That moment that 3 pound thing in my head began to work. What a lame question she has asked? I concluded that she is even more nervous than I am. I must make use of this, I thought. “What do you expect me to do here, if the bus has left? Waiting for you?” my mouth answered. The ploy worked. She gave a giggle. Oh… I just loved that. “Would you mind repeating it again?” I wished.

The yellow flight landed in our point. She signaled me to get in first. That was cute. Even I did the same. I took a step further saying “After you, please”. She gave me the enchanting smile and got into the bus. I followed her. The bus started on while she was settling herself and whizzed past her to my window point. I sat, closed my eyes to think how beautiful she looked today. Wow. My looked like an angel the day I saw her and she has never lost it. She is always on the money whatever be the outfit. She carries herself so majestically that any vulnerable single like me would fall prey for.

I switched to deep thinking mode now. She asked me a very lame question. Was she trying to make a move? Is she suffering from the same feelings as I am? So many questions in mind, obviously a girl is involved. True that. Now practically, I can’t jump into conclusions about her. But I wanted answers. I must have the patience to get them too. I prepared myself for getting answers from her. My every move must be tactical now. I must behave in such a way that she should answer my questions. Neither should I question her nor she must find that I needed answers. Time for the 1400g thing to grind tougher.

Now that she had become regular to the bus point, more of our conversation had generic topics only. We seldom talk about a subject outside our college. After all we had nothing to speak on. Red, Actor Vijay and her location of the house were the only results of those seldom talks. I got nothing useful from that but still her house place is a valuable info. A ten-min from where I live. So what else? How do I get answers or I express my feelings, I pondered as I bid her bye in the evening. There were improvements in our talk. We had to walk together in the evenings. The good dad couldn’t make it and it had become a habit.

My brain had never been this active of late. Always in the process of finding a way. Her thoughts were thoroughly on my mind as my phone beeped. “Hey there” it read to my surprise. An unknown number!! Finally she had texted me. But I wasn’t sure. My inner gut said it was she. “Yup. May I know who is this?” I replied at 22:31 a minute later after message arrived. 22:34 “ :P.. You don’t need to know me :) A favour for me please. I am kinda ill and may not make it to coll tmr. I hav Roshini’s record with me and she definitely needs it tmr. Do you mind?” I loved the way she used her smileys to convey. But I needed an analysis on the message. I replied “Sure. See you tmr. Gud night.” This message answers a lot of my questions. She didn’t ask me if I can do it. For the most part it looked like an order. She blushed for the initial part of her reply text. What does that mean? I expected a reply for my text and I was never wrong. “Thanks. But you cant see me tmr ;) I hav tol my dad to giv it 2 u in d bus stand so that u needn’t come home. Bye. Gud night.” Pondering mode on. The smiley that followed “you cant see me tomorrow” conveys something. Come on Albert Einstein. Figure it out.

Should I go to her house and get it rather than her dad coming? I thought in the morning. Atleast I may get to see her. But I decided against it. Is she of the same thought as I am? Am I good enough for her to fall in love with me? Come on…she impressed me when I saw her the first time. Did I do the same? If not at the first time atleast some time? As I was mulling over these, I saw her father making his way towards me. He handed  me the record note that she had talked about and he never spoke a word. He almost left but then turned towards a worrying me and said “Slight fever, that’s all”. Oh my.. Did my face the reveal what the heart yearned for. I need to learn something from Kamal Hassan. Acting I mean.

He shouldn’t have revealed that to me. My entire day was spent thinking of her. Lost I was. Never before I had been so absent minded. She changed me. I thought I was a strong guy but she just reminded me that I was just a sponge hearted fellow. I must meet her today said a determined me. She was my medicine. I must cook up some screenplay to see her. Roshini came into the scene to be my ingredient. While I was planning for a man-made coincidence I got a God made coincidence. “Can you please pass it this note to her? She needs it desperately.” I nodded in a precaution not to show out my excitement. She thanked and left. The lover boy inside me started to jump. Of course he should.

I went straight to home in the Tuesday evening had a change of costumes and walked straight to her home and pressed the switch for the bell. This was the first time I am visiting her house and was kinda nervous. I wanted her to open the door. But if everything what man wished became true, this earth is a disaster. Her mom I think opened the door. I gave a short intro of myself and my purpose of visit. She welcomed me inside. I entered the house stepping my right leg first as a sentiment.

A look around the house and my conclusion gave me an inner joy. The house in the way it was arranged, the Gods that hung in the wall and her grandmother who was at the corner of the house meant only one thing. A tambrahm family. Just like us. There goes the check mark in one of the important hurdle that I needed to cross. It’s time to switch over the language I thought. I had a long conversation with her mom in the “our” language. In the end of it, she had developed a wonderful feeling for me. I left the house with the big proud face even though I didn’t see her. The sense of an achievement.

“Thanks” her text at 21:44 read. My mission was a success. I got the confidence that I am going in the right direction. I must be cautious that I must not overdo it. Every action must be tactical, diplomatic. “hope you are doing good. Tak care” was my reply. It conveyed that I didn’t care about her thanks but I cared about her. “Sure. C u tmr” 21:47. The swiftness in which her messages reached me confirmed the fact that she was always with the mobile in hand. So there are possibilities for another boy in her life. But I hoped for the worst. Also I needed to get this information as quick as possible. “u can tak a brk from ur gf to reply me also ;)” she sent with a wink. It was 21:53. I got the answer for my question. No committed girl would have expected the reply. “My grandfather passed away few yrs bak :P” flew from my mobile. “so?” Girl, I thought, you need brains for a guy like me. I explained the GrandFather “joke” and she loved it. Again a step further. But still I wasn’t that convinced of her status. 22:03-“Gud nyt.”

Tuesday has always been good to me I thought as I sunk myself to sleep. Next day I was happy to see her in the morning. I put up a health enquiry in front of her father just as an act of Good Samaritan. But I wanted to know that she was keeping well. “We almost made you a postman right?” she asked referring to the previous day. “Ha I don’t mind”, I said as buried myself into Raja sir to avoid much more of the “postman” talk.

She has always been the initiator of most of the conversations. That shows that she is not as nervous as me. Does that mean she has the same feelings as I do? My mind started to bug over it again. By the way she talks to me, occasional smiles that she gives to me in lab or the class shows that she is very comfortable having me on her side. On the contrary, I sweat, stammer, struggle when the angel is beside me. Slowly I saw the development in myself. I started to get comfortable with her. We started to have conversations that were apart from college, subjects and record books. Her schooling, 1108 in 12th, her mom, her dad everything was now known to me. Our mobile chats became longer, looonger and looooonger. 00:24 she wished me “gud nyt” one day. Sleep wasn’t instantaneous for me. I would ruminate the happenings of the entire day and then fall asleep.

My religion single girl is she and days elder to me. The latter part needs some labour on it. Question yet to be answered is that I should know whether she breaths the same love air as I do. The answer has no indirect route to reach me. I must ask her the question and my question has no indirect answers. But before asking my question, I must express my state of mind. And I cant demand for the answer or press for an immediate one. I have to cork up my feelings, I decided.

A 21yr old guy’s mind has been so much troubled by the entry of this girl. She had threw my brains for a spin, hadn’t she? Now that I have decided to express my feelings to her, it must be done in a proper planned way. The way how you propose may instigate feelings if she didn’t have one. The same way, it may ruin her thoughts if you mess up with your plan. I started to chart out the plan. Do I need anyone’s help? Can I pull it off myself?

The saying goes “Your love can be hidden from the girl, but not from your friends”. True that. My gang almost smelled that I was in love but weren’t sure who the girl was. But their first guess was she, as we both come and go together for the entire class, college to watch. I tried avoiding questions on that, but friends are powerful weapons that pull almost everything from our mouth no matter how stubborn we are. But they continue to tease me with that girl. Infact the entire class did the same. Even the girls, I reckon, were of the same nature. My girl was a pity deer caught amongst the gang of lionesses. So sad.

I was still thinking of a romantic way to get to her. Just then, my phone beeped. I knew it was her or rather I wanted it to be her. Wish granted. “Are you committed?” Why in the world is she asking such a question. Does she want to confirm my relationship status? Has she got the feelings as I do? “Yes,but y?” flew the reply. A “no” would have resulted in “ok” but “yes” would add more spice. “Thank God..Now I ll tel ppl tat u r committed, so tat ppl don’t tease me.” So this was the reason of her enquiry. “Fine.And if they don’t stop, tel me. I wil c.” An assurance I gave to make her feel comfortable that which every girl loves. I know I will get another question as a reply. I waited for it.

“by d way, who is it?” Master stroke I thought. Curiosity and Girls are made for each other. You just cant stop girls from questioning and I felt that was my trump card. My every answer should have a question coming in from her. I thought the time has come. “You know her”, I replied. Wow. Girls are very much interested in other girl’s life rather than theirs. “Who is she?” “Our college?” “Our class?” “Do I really know her?” “Have you proposed?” “Shal I help?” These many questions came in consecutive texts and only “Yes” was the reply from my side for all the texts except for the proposal question. “I will do whatever I can from my side, tell me?” She was determined to help. I was happy to seek one. “Yes, I know you can and only you can. But now its 00:24 and I think you can sleep.” I knew that she is not going to bed without answers. “No……” she cried. But I am not going to let her emotions overtake me. “Wil c tmr..bye..gn”. The text looked strict that she didn’t dare to reply.

To make things interesting, I reached the bus point exactly a minute prior to the arrival of the bus. She was furious. I could sense the heat. “What took you so long?” she asked me with a tough voice as she entered the bus and I followed. I settled myself as I heard my Samsung beep. “I didn’t get a reply” it was her. For the first time I had received a text from her when we are in the bus. “Why don’t we talk about it in the night” I replied. She turned back and gave me a look. Man!! That almost killed me. “Desire is dangerous” the poet, after a long while, added.

Our evening walk was full of threatening, asking, begging from her to know about my girl but unfortunately the guy didn’t open the mouth. I liked to keep her waiting. But I must do it in such a way that she should not be exhausted and leave off the matter. I quoted again as we departed “Only you can help.” She was quite pleased and gave me assured look. We smiled at each other and left.

“So tell me..wat shud I do?” she texted just I had my face cleared of the wetness of my wash. “I am in love with a girl and I am not sure if she is single or not. Can you please help me in finding it?” I replied with guts. “Sure..tel me her name man..i cant stand d suspense” “There is a girl who lives beside my house. She has a cute smile and a wonderful character. She has become close with me 5 months now and I have known her nicely. I would like to know if she is single. If I get the answer for this I will proceed further.” “Idiot, u want my status eh..black mailer. You tried to ask me so many times and now u r trying another novel way..i lik it..anyways..that girl as far as I know is still single and has no plans of any such activities in near future.” She marked my committed status as a prank.

“Oh no plans for tat gal eh..ask her if she wud change her mind if she sees a worthy guy” I replied. “It depends”. That looked like an indirect answer. But I wanted answers more precise. “What if you meet a guy like me, darling”. I still couldn’t believe that I used such a word in the end. The next text I received from her was the next day morning. The usual “Good morning” that she broadcasts to number of people and she forgot to exclude. I never had the guts to face her in the bus point. “It would have been nice if you would have omitted ‘that’ word”, she said after a hawk. I understood what she was upto. She didn’t like being called ‘darling’. My “sorry” was followed by her “sorry”. That was surprising. “I don’t need sorry and all.Cheer up”, she gave me an adorable smile and went into the bus that just arrived. She didn’t love what I said but she didn’t hate it either. Its upto me how I carry on with things. She looked comfortable as she had just left a message “idiot” during our bus journey. Come on. Our chats has increased multifold. Texting almost everytime we are. “My Desire is a delight.”

She behaved in such a way that nothing of a sort had happened. Now you see girls know so much and are very good in hiding knowledge. They hide it sooooo deep, that they forget that such things existed later.

Now did she like it or not? Is she ok with it? Has she understood what I had said? Girls are a mystery yet to be solved. So many people have attempted it and I am also in the queue. I needed to get the answer but didn’t have the dare to repeat the word again. “What kind of reaction is that you have given me for using ‘that’ word?” I asked just to remind her that I called her using that word. There came the much awaited reply. “Listen.. I can understand what u are upto..I don have a valid reason to reject u..similarly I don have a reason to accept u either..whichever reason I get first, will be my ans.”

Wow..Whatta reply was that. She had given me the one of the most diplomatic answers I have ever received. But I don’t understand that people need reasons to fall in love. What if the reason fade? Will the everlasting love also fade? It looked funny to me. But I can take a lot of positives from her answer. The fact that she doesn’t hate me is seems decisive. Now my task is that she has a seed of love in wind dispersal mode, which I need to get it landed in a proper fertile land and nurture it until it bears the fruit of love. I would be pleased to have a taste of it.

“Please don change the way u txt me..it kinda pricks..” she sent with diligence. “I am gonna continue my style.. It depends on the reader” I clarified that I spoke to her with love from day one. The frequency of the exchanges reduced alarmingly. Our eye contacts calmed down. We had hardly anything to talk to during the evening walk. I prayed that it should change. But I made sure I wasn’t forcing on her anything. I would see her in the class, when she would be talking to her friends. She never lost her charm though I knew her mind had unanswerable questions. Looked like I am the first one to propose her and never in the world is anyone going to forget their first proposal both sent and received.

My friends sniffed out our situation and suddenly all started to pour in ideas of wooing her. But I wasn’t interested in that. Such things don’t last long. People said that inorder to make her fall in love, I must make her smile. But every time she smiled, I am the one who fell in love. Love looks to be a good feeling. And one side love is much more heavenly. You have got nothing to lose. I just loved the feeling of love. Everything in the world looks interesting. I just cant afford to miss her. That divine feeling when I get when she is near by!!! I longed for that. For today, tomorrow and for ever. “Determined for my desire.”

Semester exams comes in the month that is improbable by itself. A lover boy facing the semester is a daunting task. Our chats started to get back to shape only because I was scoring good marks and people come to me for doubts. She had doubts as a reason to chat with me and I felt thankful. Our chats was predominantly technical of late. I didn’t complain. Something is always better than nothing.

I demanded from her one thing. I wanted a good luck wish from her on every exam day in person. She happily agreed after I assured her that I will also do the same. These girls are a brilliant catch. I must hold on to them as well as possible. Fate was on my side always. We would eventually end up in the same class everyday, but not on the same place. Our seats would shuffle everyday. If she sits behind me, I would turn and seek her wishes as she would be happily wait for me with hands on her bubbly cheeks. In case I end up behind her, my eyes would be fixed only on her until she turns at me, give her trademark cutie smiley and wish me. I do not start the exam unless she wishes. But I have not lost more than 3mins of my exam time. She somehow makes it.

All these signs are not enough to show that she has fallen in love with me. Our chats continued in the same frequency as it was before. But neither of us talked about the four letter word. But I wanted her. She also looked comfortable during the chats, the walk, in bus, in lab everywhere. Is it suffice? She needs more. I need more.

The semester holidays came and I missed the walks. I was happy that she too had similar thoughts. So we planned to meet up everyday morning in the temple nearby. I felt good. At no point we made sure the place didn’t lose its sanctity. We would just see each other and give a smile and leave the place after paying our obeisance to the Lords, hardly speaking at each other. A guy of my age visiting temple daily would surely make people think. But I never gave room for that. I visit the temple daily. She was the new-comer.

Fortunately both of our houses never planned any vacation. So there was never a day where I didn’t see her. In the meantime, we both became a familiar face in each other families. Tambrahms get along with each other very easily. The moms became fond of each other as well. All signs looked good for my long term plans. Hope I get it out done.

We stepped our third year of engineering together. My second year was a success especially my fourth sem was a grand success. I am not sure if the results would say that, but to my credit, I got a 100% attendance. You know why. There was a lot to look forward for me in the third year.

I just loved being at the college if she was there. We chatted over the night, in the morning, in the evening. Never did we talk long in the class. We know about our friends. And currently, Ash and Vicks, two of my closest buds knew about the matter of things, but were good enough not to publicize it. Including Harshini, her buddy none others in the class knew about what was going on between us two. Nothing out of ordinary happened in the third year. The usual day bus point talk, chat in the bus, chat in the bus, evening walk and night chat. That sums my day.

By the time, the sem results were out in August, the results were the usual same girls topping the class while the top ranked boy stood seventh in the class. But I was not worried standing seventh as long as I ranked better than my girl. It’s a sense of pride. She was also happy for me. She held out her hand to congratulate me the next day morning. I was doubly delighted to accept the appreciation. That was the second physical contact between us. I have seen films where the hero feels as if he is electrocuted when the girl touches him. I had ruled it out as exaggeration until then and agreed to it thereafter.

My love life was ordinary. There was nothing to spice up. We chat daily but those chats didn’t help her fall in love with me. She enjoys my talk, am I an orator? She enjoys my sense of humor, am I Rowan Atkinson? No. I am her lover. Or she is my lover. The former is yet to be true. The sooner the better. I was praying for the divine intervention. Did it happen?

There was one Friday when we reached home in the dark due to a power failure. I had a marriage of my relative to be attended to be in the nearby city. While my mom and dad were ready, I had to hurry myself in the dark. We were supposed to have a two day stay there and my mom had readied my baggage already. I had a quick wash in the dark and was good to go. We three set off leaving Bruno under the custody of our neighbor Sitaram sir who was happy to accept him as a guest. While we reached out the main bus stand, I had my hands on the head as I shouted ‘OH MY GODDD!!’ Haste makes waste. Hurry leads to worry. My dear mobile, I forgot you!!!

My dad and mom laughed at my carelessness but I was not caring for that. I am gonna miss texting her. Two days. Two full days. Saturday and Sunday. Forty eight hours. I started to calculate the minutes and seconds. Jesus Christ!! While I will get back on Monday morning, I am going to be doomed. She knows that I am not in the city but she doesn’t know that my mobile is still in the city. How am I gonna survive the days here. While fear almost sunk me in, sleep had the last laugh that night.

I had a big gang of cousin-mates and they almost made me forget the outside world. I was busy in doing this, doing that, that I would hardly think of her in the day time. Nights were difficult to surpass. I would lie down, look at the roof, think of her. Some old chats would pass in my mind. I missed her. Very badly. Just then I wondered, “if she also experiencing the same?”

Monday morning came. Never in my lifetime I had waited for a Monday this much. I hurried home to see my Samsung switched off as expected. We were a little late on schedule and to stop my mom from shouting further, I put my switched off phone to charge and had to get ready for my college. I was quick enough to manage my shower and breakfast as I snatched the mobile and started. Trembling with fear I switched it on. 43 miss calls and 55 messages. I loved those numbers. It was my roll number and her roll number respectively. But I didn’t have the patience to enjoy the romance of the figures. She had all the calls and messages to her credit. I started to read one by one.

“Happy journey”, “Have u started?”, “pls reply me..”, “Heloooo..”  “Are u thr..?”, “Pls see the phone..”, “Started..?”, “Where are u?”, “Are u angry?”, “Have I done anythin wrong?”, “Pls reply..”, “I am sorry..”, “Boarded the bus?”, “Had dinner..?”, “I had..”, “I feel sleepy..”, “Good night”, “I told good night”, “after a long time, I am going to sleep without seeing ur gud nyt..”, “bye”, “hope for a txt tmr atleast..”, “Tata”. I took a deep breath as Friday texts ended.

“Good morning”, “Atleast good morning..?”, “Did u slp wel..?”, “I didn’t slp well..”, “Atleast pick up d cal man..”, “Its boring for me..”, “What HAPPENED..!!?”, “Wil u reply or not..”, “Heloooo..”, “I am stil alive..”, “what wrong have I done..?”, “u forgot me..”, “bloody boy..reply..”, “Attend atleast my phone..”, “Fine..Good bye..”, “I am in d temple..”, “I went to ur home..”, “Sitaram uncle said u r out of town..”, “Reply..reply..reply..”, “Bruno barked at me..”, “what the hell is wrong wit u..”, “I am not gonna txt until u do..”, “I tol I wont txt..”, “Pls reply..”, “did u forget the phone..?”, “No..u arent txting..”, “u wont txt, u wont talk..busy man..“, “Sat afternoon here and stil no txt..”, “I am furious.. I am gonna kill u when I c u..”, “am waiting for Monday..”, “That’s it..i am stopping..”, “No more txts until u do..”, “Bye..”

Phew, exhausted. I looked up. I had reached the bus point. The miss calls were split like 8 on Friday and the rest for Saturday. From 8:31AM there were continuous miss calls on Saturday where 8 minutes was the longest break between two consecutive miss calls. My God.. She switched off my phone.

She hasn’t reached the spot yet and it was minutes away from the arrival of the bus. I started to compose a text to her, just as I heard the splendor making its way. My guess was never wrong as I looked up. It was her with a glowering face. She never bothered to look at me. “I…” I started as her father took off. She tightened her earphones to avoid further talk. When I got settled in my usual window seat, I began to analyze her messages. She missed me. I can assure that. She didn’t sleep, her day wasn’t good, she even made an effort to reach my house. Looked like she had missed me. Infact very badly. It seemed as though her brains didn’t work. She almost guessed that I left the phone but in the end she convinced that I am not texting her deliberately. I seriously had no offence on myself. My bad that I have a very good poor memory. I had to sort it out as quickly as possible.

She never replied to my “Sorry” that I sent her during our bus journey. She never bothered to look at me the entire day, though I had my eyes firmly on her. And she knew that too. I knew its not gonna solve by texting. I needed to speak with her. I hoped we would get a good time during the evening walk. “Would you please listen to me”, I pleaded as we got down the bus and started to walk. She had a step ahead of me. She seemed uninterested to listen to me. “Hey..please.. I am sorry.. I forgot my mobile here. I swear.” She gave me a vacant look, stopped and said “Idiot” and went off in her path. I stood frozen there for a couple of minutes and then walked home. Did she agree to my explanation? Am I okay with that? I took a long walk home. Just as I reached my home, samsung showed that he is still alive by beeping.

I hurried on to the mobile as I knew it would be her and I didn’t want to waste even a single second. “Really?” her text read. “Yeah.. I am not joking..seriously.. You remember the power cut, that was the reason.Sorry” I passed out the message. “So it’s the power cut that lit up my love life, isn’t it?” I got a text from her. Wow!!! That is one of the simplest way to admit that you are in love. I just loved that. I thought the way I proposed her was the meekest one. Here she comes up with much more austere one. Finally.. I am no more single. “Oh..so its time to throw up the party to Ash and Vicks..A long awaited one..Shall I?” My question was answered with a “Yes..You may proceed.”

The magic in her blossomed all of a sudden. But that’s what you call magic. Love. I have never seen nor heard of such a professional lovers as we are. We are gonna set a trend. The night she confirmed her love, had no texts between us. I was ordered to suffer for leaving my mobile here. With thoughts thoroughly on her, I closed my eyes to sleep for the first time as doubly to “Dance in the Dream with my Desire.”

I just couldn’t wait for the morning to meet her. I was there at the bus point with a bright colored dress on the Tuesday. Yes. This sem had a different schedule for labs. My eyes firmly fixed in the direction of her arrival. To my delight, my desire came. Her beauty, it seemed, has increased multifold overnight. My angel, my princess, my cutie little girl was attractive as ever. She saw me and gave a beautiful smile. I loved that curve on her lips. Her rosiness deserved millions. After all, I am seeing her for the first time as my own property.

Neither of us spoke a word in our 4 minute stay in the bus point. I wanted the truth to settle down. I had a rapid pulse as she was near me. ARR couldn’t soothe me down. I barely heard my music. She never lifted her stooped head. I wanted to hear her, but had no fuel to ignite the talk. “Bus came”, I said. I had nothing else at that point and I am sure she would have guessed that I sounded stupid. She never replied to me. Its always me who board the second that I had the advantage of a glance at her after she sits down. I do that daily but today’s glance bowled me over. It was for the first time our eyes had the collision.

ARR and Raja sir were at their best in my playlist which featured the best of best. That itself consumed GB’s of data. Such is their stature. I wanted to chat but no subject matter. I sent a “Hey” to start off with. Within minutes I got the reply “Tell”. “You look gorgeous today” I flirted for which I got an amazing reply. “I am d same, the looker has changed the eyes.” She was true on that. She looked more adorable because I changed the way I look at her. She talks in such a way that I wonder whether love has made her a scholar. Two texts with such diplomacy. I still marvel her confession of love. “Yeah..my eyes were operated by love” I acknowledged. “Hope the operation spared enough to treat your friends.” I loved her texts now. She looks completely different girl. The chat went on the entire trip and I was flabbergasted with the tact in each text.

We both entered the class as though newly wed couples enter the house. It gave me the same feeling. I wanted to hold her hand, but my imagination was enough feed to me. My face carried that ‘achievement’ smile throughout the day. I never told them but Ash and Vicks were good to guess. So they had their much pestered treat, that started off the day in October when I saw the yellow sareed beauty and here they get it about a year later. Perseverance wins after all. I appreciate you guys.

Harshini had her stomach full from my girl too. We both met at the cafeteria for the same reason – Treat and for the same occasion – A doubly. Now you can call that a “Lovely” coincidence. My eyes were promoted to the job of the tongue whenever I meet her. Day 1 in college as a doubly was heavenly and I couldn’t wait for the evening          steps together. It wasn’t too long when we got down from the bus in the evening. We never spoke a word. My right foot was right in symmetry with her’s. We walked the same line neither a foot ahead or nor behind. I enjoyed every second of my step with her. We reached the point where we had to part ways. “Go home and text”, she said and went off in her path.

I never waited to reach home. I texted her immediately. My love was overflowing and was hard to contain. After all an amateur I am. She replied in a little while. I loved to see her text. I longed for it. She continued to fragrance most part of my night until we exchanged good nights at 1:24 AM.

6:07 in the morning, I woke up and sent a “Good Morning” to her. The return salutation was received at 6:44. That aroused a smile in me and since both of us had to get ready for the college, “See u at the point darling”, I signed off, with the first romantic touch of the day. It was equaled in her reply “Sure dear.”

I was there at the point awaiting her presence. To my delight, she came earlier than expected, carrying herself beautifully with her outfits. Her dad had couple of words for me, enquiring about my dad’s availability. Our two families have gelled very well in the recent past. The dads talking business and moms, recipes.

Texting in the bus saw a decline now. We have changed our seats. She sits in the last row allotted for the girls and I sit in the first row allotted for the boys. In that way, I lean forward and I get a whiff of her hair. We would talk a little. We had a few staff people also, who look at us as if we are criminals. We wanted to avoid that discomfort. I just enjoyed the love in the air.

The days can never get better. I woke up for her wish and I slept with her wish. My every movement she knew and the vice versa is also true. We exchanged visits. She comes to my home occasionally and I pay a visit every now and then. I became a part of her family and she became one in my family. We had an excellent rapport between us. The record works, internals, surprise tests all acted as catalysts for our relationship to grow.

Every day I see her and the day becomes special. We didn’t spare a single day, without seeing each other. The temple came to the rescue during the day-offs. There is one day that I would like to share. I saw her for the first time of the day at the usual bus point. I was dumbstruck by her looks that day. I couldn’t utter the word “hi” to her. Words played truant. There was a new entry in her face. A stunning nose stud!! It increased her beauty quotient exponentially. We reached the college and I was yet to recover from her strike. In the class, I was caught looking at her by several of my friends. My eyes never paid heed to me. It kept on looking at her admiringly. Eyes are also involuntary. English language needed a revamp to explain her beauty. Finally I cleared my throat to ask her the specialty of the stunning stud. She said that it was just like that. No intentions. But she was wrong. She had intentions. To knock me over. And she gets full marks for that. Her image stood right in my eyes the entire day. I was there in the roof gazing the stars thinking of her. The shining stars reminded me her sparkling stud. I admired the beauty of the creation. Her stud was as though it pierced her nose and travelled long enough to hit my heart. I could never brush off the thought.

I told her how beautiful she looked that day, over the text. She confessed a fact then. She was told to wear a nose-ring for a quite a long while. But she was of the thought that it may look very old fashioned and nobody would like her. Now she knew that there would be one person who will obviously like it. And that boosted her confidence and hence the result. It gave me proud lover feeling. Then I asked her the googly. It isn’t necessary that I must like whatever she does right? She gave another shake me off answer. She liked it. So did I. Love is an amazing feel pal.

There are certain important duties for a lover. A good lover should have a good memory power. And I am elementary in it. There are days that you should remember, gifts that should remember, happenings, favorites and so much similar. One of the important is the birthday. Yes, it has come. It is the time for her birthday. There will be so much expectation from me. Not only she, her friends also would be eager to know what her lover gifted her. That’s what girls are made up of. The bars are set high for me.

I sat down on roof top to plan for her birthday that was four days away. Planning a gift for a girl is a difficult task I say. She will like everything for the first time. But I didn’t want that. I needed something that reminds her of me every time she sees and brings a smile to her. Thoughtful days ahead.

Finally the day had come. I called up at 11:50 pm the night previous to her birthday. I am not so fond of wishing people at 12 but I was ordered to. According to me, the day begins when you get out of your bed. But my darling, gave an explanation as to why I should call her at 12. It is her day and the first voice hears must be mine. I agreed. By the way, I didn’t have options.

The clock stroke 12 and here I was singing the same old tune “Happy Birthday to you ♫. May God bless you with a beautiful life with your loved one.” A first of a kind birthday wish for me. She liked it. We hung the phone for she had pestering second calls. She texted after a while. Didn’t have much of a text as we exchanged night salutations and went off to bed.

Morning saw me waiting for my darling with much anticipation. She was there. Not saree this time, a well stitched ethnic kurti embroidered beautifully in white to match its dark blue base. Her bottom and shawl challenged the color of the full moon. Elegance in human form was she. “Beautiful selection of your outfit dear”, I said after her father had left. “Looks good on me?” she questioned. “Regardless of your outfit, you look beautiful to me darling” I blushed. “Romeo, the bus has come. Stop the romance.”

Wishes poured in galore as she entered the class. Harshini and couple of her another friends surprised her with gifts. She was the talk among the girls and I was amidst the boys. These people demanded a wine and dine from me too. I had to oblige. I didn’t have much of a choice. Evening walk was where I planned to gift her and the time has come. “Darling”, I called. “It is your first birthday with me. How do you feel?” asked the boy. The angel started, “My feel is beyond words my dear. I am loving each and every minute of my birthday. Day starting off with your call and..Can I can I ask you something?” “Before that, I have a gift for you. I don’t have that money to get you something precious dear. I am sorry for that. All I have with me is a self-designed greeting card.” Saying this I opened my bag to give her the card. Her face was plain as she opened the card to read it.

“I always wanted to know why I was born,

Just then a God-sent angel, you, came;

You took away from my path, the stone and thorn,

And life with me played a different game.

The world saw me a completely different person,

I saw myself happier than before.

I don’t want the situation to worsen,

Coz I love you more and more.

Sans you am an out of water fish,

Wish I had a wish;

Though I need to use it one time;

I will ask you for my life time.”

            It was my first attempt to write and the tiny drop at the edge of her eyes stated that it was a success. “Who cares of all the gifts dear. You remember I wanted to ask you something. I want to hold your hand and walk the remaining distance. So..?” And then we walked the remaining distance holding each other’s and vowed to walk farther and farther. “It was my best birthday so far. Thanks for making the most of it”, She texted after reaching home. Even I loved every minute I spent with her. I wanted to see her again. I was so affected in fact addicted to her presence that I found it hard to survive without it. Just then out of thin air, she made her presence near the brown gate. “Is that you” I exclaimed. “Yeah, its me.” Yes it was she. She came to share the sweets of her birthday to the people at my home. She had a special for Bruno too. Everyone in my family loved to see her. She had gelled very well with ours. That’s a positive sign going forward.

I had an early Saturday morning as I had to lock up the house after my mom and dad left for Chennai early morning. They are to return on Monday morning. Though it was holiday for me, I didn’t want to attend the function. It was a late Saturday morning for me. I had infinite time with me and I had no other commitments other than the temple in the evening. Got up from the bed around 10 AM, completed my ablutions and sat for the breakfast by 11:15 AM. Ate the idlys they made for me. Slipped to my laptop after breakfast. It was a normal day until the clock stroke 2 PM. I heard a familiar female voice “Auntyy.” Reluctantly I opened the door and to my surprise it was my darling. She wasn’t surprised to see me but I was. Before I could recover from her surprise visit she came in looking for my mom.

“Errr…They aren’t there. They have gone to Chennai for a marriage and are to return on Monday morning.” I was sweating. My pulse rate was ascending slowly. “Oh, Sorry I didn’t know that.” She stood still. I caught her hand and took her to my bedroom. That’s the only place she hasn’t seen in my house. I showed her my room, a typical guys of my age room, attitude posters, Sachin and a family photo. “Nice” she said as she looked down, tucked her hair behind the ears. I guessed it right. She was nervy. I pulled her to my side and hugged her. It gave her confidence. Her hands met each other on my back after a hesitation. She liked it. I loved it. She swirled around in a way I never let go of the hold. My hands kissed each other in front of her belly. We stroke an awesome pose before the mirror. Gorgeous couple we are, I thought. We indeed were.

 I loosened my grip. She moved forward. Her shawl stuck to my hand. This was the first time that I have seen her shawl unpinned. She didn’t leave the room. I didn’t want her. Went close. Pulled her towards me. A tight hug, a gentle kiss on her forehead. She smiled. She gave me an erection. I requested. She obliged. Our four lips became one. The scene got steamier. Something was bound to happen. But she was on her own. When I lost my senses, her common sense prevailed.  She stopped me. Before I spilled the beans. Her smile was seducing. I didn’t let her go. She forced herself out of the room.

“I am leaving.” She never bothered to wait for a reply. “Just a minute.” I stopped her. “I thought my mother told your family that they wont be in town for the two days.” “Yes, she did”, she said as she never looked up and continued to adjust her sandals. I smiled. “So that explains the unpinned duppata”, I said as she locked the gate. She smiled and left. Boys are hungry, girls are greedy, I concluded.

We are madly in love with each other. Survival looks impossible in absence of the other one. I never regretted the decision of opting out of the Chennai trip. Why should I? Monday morning came. My mom and dad came. The house was beautifully maintained. It had to be. I had to clean off any clue that would make them guess a girl was here. “Is it the time they should know” was the thought while I was walking towards the bus point. She came and we had a discussion about that also. She wasn’t sure of anything. Fear crept her. She left the decision to me. I decided to say on my birthday, which was couple of days away.

Finally I turned 21. Got the first wish from my darling at 12. I didn’t want it but she wanted it. “Welcome to 21 my son” my dad greeted as I woke up. I am just 21 right, I cant reveal them anything about my love life so early. I decided to postpone the decision for my 22nd birthday. I love to have my birthday as a low key affair. This time was no different. Usual people wish. But this time I had an extra wish. My darling, my desire, my love, my life. Scenes from last birthday rolled over. She never knew that it was my birthday and this year I got a 12oclock wish which I never had until today. Life has changed. A lot.

“You look awesome in red and black”, she complimented. I flattered. After all there was so much behind the screen work that took place for the red shirt. I was stubborn to get a red and my dad didn’t want it. He termed it as the “Danger color” but I desired it. A birthday ‘boy’ in the college is the pitifullest fellow. He gets beaten, he becomes poor, his purse is emptied. Everything happened to me also. I had the strength to bear everything because I will have boost in the evening. And I waited for that.

We were walking together in the evening. Just then she took out a thin gift wrapped thing. “Happy birthday dear” she said as she gave me. I opened it to find a well-crafted parker pen. Ah! I just loved to own a parker and now I have one. Thanks a lot darling.

If at all there existed a pair who would catch every eye in the college, it was we. We complimented each other very well. We did not have the same taste as such. Our opinions differed. But it was respected. We were seen as the perfect made for each other in the entire college. Yup. The entire college knew about us. We were famous. More importantly, our love life never interfered in our academic life. We maintained the percentage we used to get although she saw a slight increase. It had to be. Her boy was a topper.

On a Saturday morning, I couldn’t meet her at the temple as planned. She didn’t turn up. That worried me. So I made a walk to my darling’s house. I opened the gate and I was welcomed by her mom. I didn’t have a topic to speak to her mom. But fortunately she had. She had lots. She spoke about her daughter, her family, marks, her olden days with a “yes, no, haha” in between from me. Finally she gave me a break where I could open my mouth to say “Your daughter isn’t here?” A reluctant answer “Err…she is inside. Wait I will call.” The mother gave an uncomfortable response that made me ponder. She was in her room, just beside where we were talking, locked from inside. Her mother called for her standing outside the room saying the reason. “I will see him later ma” she said with a softer than usual voice. The mother looked at me puzzled, not knowing what to tell me.

I stood up, calmed the nervous mother, went nearer to her door and said “I will meet you after three days. Take care.” “Two days” she corrected me as I turned to exit. I smiled and left the house. After all, men and menstruation are the main headaches for women. And if I don’t understand that who else would.

Life will be bitter if it is all sweet. My love life had no fights between us. By the way I am one year old lover now and we are three month old lovers. Too many pampers and sweet talk until the earthquake came a week later.

Horoscope is one horrible thing in an orthodox family. And as per hers, some planet God is gonna reside in some position that is not destined. And if that happens, her marriage will be delayed. Well that’s not the reason for the advancement of marriage talks. Her grandmother, is in her nineties and wants to see her married. “Isnt that ridiculous?” I exclaimed at the temple when she broke the news to me. Things didn’t matter to me until she said this. “I am also excited.”

“What the fuck are you talking about darling?” I exclaimed. “Listen, things are not gonna work out between us. So I have decided to give the nod to the marriage. I called you to say this. One final time we are meeting outside college. Forgive and forget.” She threw these minesweepers and left the temple. I was left alone swearing the heroes of the place I was sitting.

If her proposal was a kiss, her denial was devastation. I still couldn’t take her words. She uttered something I never expected even in dreams. It was a surprise, a shock, a slap. I still didn’t believe she uttered those words. But things are real. She threw me off. Now I should try convincing or forget her. It’s time to make the choice. The choice of my lifetime.

I called her on her phone. Basically I am comfortable texting than talking and so this is the third or fourth time I am calling her. She picked up the phone “Hello!” Man!! Where has all the love flown? How could she change in matter of minutes? I have heard boys transform after the intercourse but girls…first for me. “I called you for..” “Listen Mr. I don’t have time to listen. I have no intentions to talk.Bye.” “Hey..Just a minute” I stopped her before she hung. “ Your intentions look clear. I am not gonna stop you either. Go ahead. Thanks for making my life happy. I don’t regret a single moment with you. Except my act at my bedroom. I shouldn’t have obliged. I should have done it and now you would have been behind me. I don’t care a hair that you are getting married. But mark my words, my presence is gonna kill you. I am gonna live a much better life. My wife will be the luckiest woman on earth. I guarantee that. You are gonna atone. Rest In Peace darling.” I passed a kiss and hung the phone.

The tough times has started. I have to think. Is she under some stress that she is talking like this? Are the people in her house forcing her into marriage? I love her and she loves me too. I know that. I am not that easy to be fooled. She has given the nod to the marriage but I don’t think that was given whole-heartedly. I have to think. She is in a problem and I have to save her. For her sake as well as for my sake. What am I going to do? “I want to meet you” I sent her the text.

I know she would come. We met at the same temple. “Tell me what’s wrong?” She had a look into my eyes. Then started “See, people at home are forcing me badly. I have no other choice. When I said that I didn’t like the groom, that time itself they started to shout. Mom was very angry on me. She is blackmailing me that she will suicide. What do you expect me to do? We aren’t gonna work out in our family or I say my family. Its my fate that my life is like this. I want you to stay happy. That’s why I spoke like that. I am sorry. Its time that we think practically and move on.”

If I don’t understand her plight who else will? “Can I come and talk to your mom and dad?” “About?” “About us!!” “Listen”, she added, “Now you have a good name in my family. Anyways they aren’t gonna approve. The end result will be that your name will be tarnished. That’s a waste of time. We will have a mutual consent.”

She left the place as I was searching for words. She was a prisoner of circumstances. I couldn’t help her either. I had to do something. Just then my Samsung rang. “Hey, her marriage is fixed. January 18th. I tried calling your mom, but her number was busy. Convey it ok” saying these, her mother hung the phone. I just looked at the Gods there with eyes blurred with tears.

The five minute walk I had to my home was the longest of all walks from the temple to my home. I had to do something to save both of us. She is being pushed into a marriage and I am being forced away from her. I wondered what I can do to stop the marriage. I was determined to do something, but what? But she never spoke anything against the decision of her elders. I urged her to protest but she was scared to do it. I gave her suggestions that could possible postpone the marriage. She said yes to me but said nothing at home. If someone could stop this marriage, it is she. Looks like she isn’t interested in talking against the marriage at her home. I am the stupid worrying for the same.

I started to wonder if she was really in love with me. She doesn’t look to be in a worry of the scenes happening at her home. Its time for the hard decision. I prepared for it. “I have decided. We are breaking off… OFFICIALLY”. These characters took a decade to be completed and sent. Controlling tears is a tough art. I am learning to master it and half way through. “Thanks.. Take care” came the reply. That was unexpected. She took it so easily. Damn!! The bitch didn’t care for me at all. No. I am not accusing her, it was just an overtake of emotions.

If our love was expressed in a mediocre way, the break-up was more a run-of-the-mill. I had to take care that it should not affect me either physically or mentally. I am strong and the whole world knew it. But I had my own weakness and only I knew it. Unfortunately it was exploited. I know I can brave the odds. Nothing is an obstacle for me. I will come over it. Motivating myself I went to her house.

She was there in the lobby when I entered. My presence was a surprise for her. She had no welcoming words for me. She called out her mom who came out to see me. “I want to talk few things about your daughter’s marriage aunty.” “Tell me dear”, her mom was always sweet. I could sense the nerves of the girl behind me. I knew where it is leading to.

“I just want to know about the groom and my role during the marriage. I cant come and go just like any other relative. I am a part of this family. Tell me what should I do?” A deep exhale from the bride. “Oh, so sweet of you son. I will let you know.” I thanked the hospitality and left. My presence in the marriage may disturb her, I thought. Yes. It was planned. No more compassion. It is the revenge time. “Dispel the desire.”

Then after, there were frequent visits to her house, discussing about the marriage plans. I was given a lot of responsibilities. She didn’t like it. I didn’t like it either. But she didn’t like it. I liked it. Sem holidays went off in a flash. I was busy you see. It was the time for the new year. “I want to meet you” read a text from her. I was pleasured.

We met at the usual temple after a long time.

            Me: So what for is this meet? A final one?

            She: What is your problem?

            Me: I have no problem. I am living a happy life.

            She: Don’t act. You are crying inside.

            Me: oh.. How come you know that?

            She: I.. I donno that.

            Me: I know. So.. how are you?

            She: I am also good.

            Me: Lie!!! That’s a bloody lie. You are still in love. Erase your memories.

            She: I have no one in my mind. I am not thinking of anyone else. Ok?

            Me: So how come you knew that I was crying inside?

            (Silence…..)

Me: So better confess. Why don’t you tell the people at home that you are not interested in marriage. Whats wrong? What is going to happen? If you keep quiet now, you are gonna shut your mouth for your entire life. Is that ok for you? Or are you really ok for this? You are prepared to marry that 26 year old guy? He looks flawless to me. But that doesn’t force you to marry him?

She: Can you please stop interrogating? I am prepared ok.. Both mentally and physically.

Me: Lets get out of the temple. Mind a walk?

Me: Now that we are out of the temple, tell me. What do you mean by physically?

She: It just flowed. Your thinking is wrong.

Me: Fine. I will burn my intentions. Don’t worry. So you are not gonna tell anything at home. That’s ok for me? Are you gonna tell it to your… whatever.

She: I haven’t thought about it yet.

Me: Great. I have one thing for you. Open your mouth before you open your legs. That will save him and your relationship. I need to go to the hall to foresee few things. Happy New Year. Good bye.

I never waited for the reply. I was making my way home.

            I realized the intensity of my words right after my third step away from her. I didn’t want to see her crying face but I could not take back my word either. Sheer frustration and I have deciphered something that is going to make her hate me big time. But ultimately its good for her I thought wiping the wetness off my eyes.

I dared not to send her any texts seeking apology for the words I had uttered. Let’s move on I thought. The New Year began on a dull note and I hoped it ends better. That’s a long way I dusted my thoughts and closed my eyes to dream.

I had to avoid her meetings in the mornings also, but that was unavoidable. We both stood at the same place facing different directions, never speaking a word. It pained through the blood of my heart but I had my emotions very well under control. I knew I had to bite my teeth for a few more days and then she will be off on marriage leave. No chats, no talks, no eye-contacts life can never become more miserable for a young lad like me.

But I see a different me and she sees a different me. I am the one who cant see her getting married, pained by her separation. But for her, I am a guy who is taking revenge on her decision to marry, abusing her and a third rated pervert. I was happy to be judged that way. The time at the college were even more terrible with people around me putting up a sorry face when they see me. I didn’t like it but couldn’t change it either. We were one of the celebrated couples over the college but little did they know that it would end up here. Neither did I.

It was the time of the bhogi. People had already started to pollute the air. I also had few things to be burnt. Memories – Those are hard to go by. But I need them to go. I am just days away from it. I had to prepare myself hard infact very hard for it.

The wedding eve had arrived. People at her home were on their toes running here and there. A halfhearted work from me. The wedding wasn’t planned at a huge scale. It was a low key affair. She is to be married to him in a temple or I say in the temple, in the same temple to be precise. Morning 6 we had to be there. There were no last words from either of us. I just wanted everything to move on smoothly. I had enough pain in my heart to kill me number of times. I was courageous enough not to exhibit it. My doubt is that the other girl, who knows me far better than my girl had figured out my fishy behavior. Moms are wonderful someone said, well said.

Welcome Jan 18. I was there neatly dressed up at the temple morning 7. The main act of the occasion was to be done in an hour. Memories of the temple flashed through my mind as I was sitting gazing at the numerous procedures of a Tambrahm marriage carnival. Just then I heard out my name called in a familiar female voice. Her. Her Mother. “Here is the key. I forgot my mobile at home. Can you please...?” Women forget things when they need them most. “Sure” I said and picked up the keys proceeded towards her home. Her I mean here as her mom.

I came out of the temple to see the used-to smile of the flower vendor lady. She has seen me right from the day she opened the shop here. As I tightened the buckle, I saw a beautiful car coming towards me. I was just mesmerized to see the beautiful blue-metallic finish of the car. I recognized it. That was easy. My favorite.

Just then I noticed the unusual behavior of the swift. It proceeded towards me, speedily. Before I could take the evasive action, I had the hood osculating my pelvis. I flew in the midair throwing away the keys. My head won the race to reach the ground first. With half of what I could hear, I believe it was the flower lady to scream first. With semi opened eyes I could see people rushing towards me from the marriage hall. My mother reached me took the blood painted face of mine on her lap. She also had reached the spot. The day where everyone had to be happy, I could hear loud cries.

I was just in front of the temple. The same temple, where I saw her first amidst night light. Here I may see her for the one final time in the bright day light. The car that started it off returned to end it.  She was wearing the ever gorgeous yellow saree. Life is returning to where it all began. I called her to my side. I said to her “I know who staged this accident.” Her tears had guilt as the primary reason. “I love you” I said for the first time as I breathed my last.

Now tell me. Do ‘you’ believe in ghosts?

****** The End *****